Ok, so it has been a VERY long time since I've posted anything. In fact I'm really bad at blogging, but I have my reasons for having a blog and now I just really need to work on keeping it updated. So much has happened since my last post. 2011 was a very eventful year for Shalum and I. I can even tell you that it was the very worst year of my life to date. I hit some very low moments and had some major struggles. I felt like I was falling fast with no end in sight.

This was me.

And then you know the saying 'The darkest hour is just before the dawn'? I am here to assure you that it is absolutely true. Because the end of 2011 was my dawn.

Aaaaaaaaaaa

Without going into major detail, because I could go on and on about why last year was so horrible but I would rather focus on the positive and not the negative, so I'm just going to say we had many disappointments, such as adoptions falling through, etc. And then when all hope seemed lost, we were chosen to adopt again the end of October and this one actually worked out!

And now this is me!

We were placed with the most beautiful baby boy on Dec. 3, 2011.

See, told you he's beautiful!

We named him Jared Axel Decklan Stone. People often ask how we decided on his name, and in case you are wondering I shall tell...Jared is Shalum's middle name, I just absolutely love the name Axel (although Shalum doesn't, he's just sweet enough to let me use the name for our baby), and Decklan is the name his birthparents chose. We had decided to let them pick a name to include as well. Which they seemed to really appreciate.

And we have a pretty open adoption with his birth parents. I adore them. I wouldn't be a mom, and even more importantly, I wouldn't be Jared's mom if it weren't for them. And I will forever be grateful to them.

Jared (who we also call Jax) is now about 5 1/2 months old, and boy is he getting big! It's so exciting to see him growing but at the same time it makes me sad that it's happening so fast.

Jared was born with pulmonary valve atresia. He didn't have a valve in the right chamber of his heart so when he was born the doctors had to put a catheter up to his heart from his thigh and pop a hole in the wall of the membrane. And he is doing so well thanks to the blessings of the priesthood! In the NICU the doctors were constantly mentioning how amazed they were at his progress and that he was their little champion. He was taken off medication to keep his PDA's open 3 days after the catheter procedure and a nurse told us that that never happens, that they're usually on the medication for AT LEAST two more weeks. They were completely amazed and blown away at how well his heart was doing so quickly. He was only in the NICU for 3 weeks and then we were able to bring him home! He was born in Las Vegas and I had stayed down there with him the entire time while Shalum was traveling back and forth because of work. Jared will eventually need an artificial valve put in at some point, but we're hoping that when he needs it, he'll be old enough that they can do it through a catheter and not do open heart surgery. Can you believe that that's possible?! We were amazed at his last cardiologist appointment a few weeks ago that this was a possibility. So here's hoping. But right now he's doing fantastic and he doesn't have to see the cardiologist again until October.